help me holy warriors, zombies stalk my every move

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help me holy warriors, zombies stalk my every move

virm pasuul
This post was updated on .
Oh Mighty and Exalted Saviours of the New Order of Highsec.
It is my unfortunate duty to write to you with terrible news of a carbuncle of dirty heathen mining bots in Bagodan. These poor misguided soulless souls have deluded themselves to the point of joining the darkside of botting. I feel as a fine upstanding citizen it is my job to help in the crusade to re-educate these people in the joys of paying Eve at the keyboard. I am not yet of the calibre of yourselves but I can make a donation to help you fine paladins of light in your holy cause.
I would like to make an offering of 100M to your cause, and if you should make a noticeable dent in the ranks of the zombie miners in Bagodan then I it would be my pleasure to make another such tithe.
Virm Pasuul

PS I don't believe any of them have mining permits, nor have they read the rules, nor do they seek enlightenment!

- Tithe Sent IG
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Re: help me holy warriors, zombies stalk my every move

Wescro
Vrim,

I am saddened to hear of the impunity with which bot-aspirancy is paraded in Bagodan, which had been one of my cherished vacation spots in New Eden. I fondly remember gazing at the surface of Bagodan II; with its magnificent lava lakes and volcanic charred crust slowly emanating a gentle golden orange aura into the stratosphere. And now, I am in dreaded awe. How the bots have besieged this great space! I will see to it at once that the code is enforced under the brilliance of the Bagodan Sun!

I will post back here with a report of my activities in Bagodan once they have concluded.
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Re: help me holy warriors, zombies stalk my every move

admiral root
In reply to this post by virm pasuul
It would appear that Agent Wescro is on the case.  The bot-aspirants would do well to fear him and hide far, far away.
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Re: help me holy warriors, zombies stalk my every move

virm pasuul
My heart is buoyed up with the lightness of a shining holy joy at the news of your interest in the plight of the sinners of Bagodan. Let them repent and be led by the light of righteousness or if there be darkness in their hearts let them be scourged clean by angels of brimstone and fire as Sodom and Gomorrah before.

PS I need to buy an at keyboard part time mining permit. How do I buy one please?
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Re: help me holy warriors, zombies stalk my every move

Wescro
This post was updated on .
In reply to this post by virm pasuul
I was bumping in Bagodan yesterday, and it was indeed a sanctuary system for non-compliant miners.



One code violator was so accustomed to bot-aspirancy and low-effort gameplay, she could not respond with any more than one word at a time.



Miners are often perplexed why they should have obey the law like everyone else does. Luckily, another miner was at the scene to clarify things.



Cassidy Thellere, however, was no ordinary hapless uninformed miner. She had read about the New Order and had us all figured out.



The above conversation is so standard I myself feel like a bot engaging in it. However, things were going to get...interesting.



Extorting miners AND exploiting game mechanics? Now that's a double whammy. I scrambled to get my Miner Bingo board out.



In their valiant resistance efforts, miners may never learn the use of turrets, guns, missiles or smartbombs, but they are experts at utilizing the F Bomb.



Is there a square on the Miner Bingo board for attributing the New Order's success to penis size? Darn, I'd almost gotten bingo too...
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Re: help me holy warriors, zombies stalk my every move

Agent Trask
In reply to this post by virm pasuul
Simply add James 315 to you contacts list, right click on him and send James 315 money in game, and note that this is for a one year mining Permit in the notes section of the ISK transfer.

Post www.minerbumping.com, and " I support James 315 and the Code" In your Bio.

If Knights announce enforcement in the system you are in, be sure to greet them warmly, and let them know you are at the keyboard.


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Re: help me holy warriors, zombies stalk my every move

Aria Stane
It seems to me that resistence of this magnitude should not be permitted.   Perhaps a day trip down to Bogodan with a detachment of Knights would be in order, if only for the explicit purpose of delivering some cleansing, purifying firepower to bear against the hulls of those who interacted so poorly with an upstanding Agent like Wescro.
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Re: help me holy warriors, zombies stalk my every move

alanacharenteng
In reply to this post by Wescro
That was a great post! Well-written and funny!
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Re: help me holy warriors, zombies stalk my every move

Capt Starfox
In reply to this post by Wescro
I always find it funny how miners cry about how peaceful they are and it's not fair, but always seem to resort to petty name-calling and vulgarity at the slightest hint of conversation, thereby breaking the EULA themselves... Then cry about how we're breaking the EULA... Then cry bloody murder when someone reports them for actually breaking the EULA and all the while we're polite and not exploiting game mechanics. Just makes me want to shoot at entitled carebears more and more...
Psychotic Monk for CSM 8